We decided it would be a good idea to get a drink before hand to loosen up. A drink turned into 2 glasses of wine at one bar and another at Madame X, the location of the speed dating. Danielle perfectly described this place, "it looks like a place where people go and spooge all over each other" They had bad red lighting, red couches that look "worn" and lots of mirrors. It looks like a bad scene from Moulin Rouge.
The directions for the speed dating are simple. I had a pen and piece of paper. I was to write down every ones name and put a few sentences about our conversation, so I could remember them later. We were going to talk with roughly 12 guys for 3 minutes. I would then log on to the website tomorrow and pick my favorites that I wanted to go on a date with. If they also picked me, then we would get a message with each other's email address. Simple, right?
Initially, there were more girls than guys, so I was a wee bit concerned at the beginning. The guys finally showed up and they didn't really impress me. Here is where things went wrong. The first guy kicked over my glass of wine. My immediate thought "oh no, I can't go thru this sober!" I remember that he was nice, from Toledo and had REALLY bad jeans & shoes. And then the rest are a blur. I was more focused on my stomach. I was SOOOO hungry. I didn't eat, I had 2.5 glasses of wine pumping thru my veins and all I wanted was some food. After talking to a few guys, I realized I completely failed in my directions. I didn't write down a single name or comment. Fail. We then broke for halftime. The guy that kicked over my wine bought me another glass. I didn't realize this happened, so I bought one for myself. Great, more wine and hardly any food. There were a few snacks, which I was belly up against the bar shoveling cucumber sandwiches in my mouth, as well as carrots. I couldn't eat enough. I am sure I looked like a big winner: belly up at the bar, shoveling food in my mouth with 2 glasses of wine in front of me. Who wouldn't want to date me?
After stuffing my face, I went back to my throne (my chair really looked like a throne). I had 2 glasses of wine and 6 more people to talk to. I made a mental note to write down names, but again, I failed. There were a lot of Russians. One guy asked me, "Do you like to read?" I said no - I really am not a big reader. He talked about how he loves the Twilight Series and he just couldn't believe I didn't like to read. I told him I love to read In Style each month. He was not impressed. I was not impressed with him. There was an awkward silence. I then asked if he was team Jacob or Edward. Again, he really wasn't impressed at all. I remember thinking THESE 3 MINUTES ARE NEVER GOING TO END.
At the end of the session, I wrote down zero names. I was a bottle + deep in wine. I was light headed and STARVING.
Danielle and I decided to go visit her roommate Renata at the restaurant she worked at, which was a trendy place in the Village. Um, we were too drunk to be there. We ordered the cheapest wine on the menu because we are classy like that. We then got into a very confusing conversation with our server over bruschetta. I remember thinking, "send me bread with tomatoes on it. Actually just send me anything." We finally figured it out that it was not bruschetta but dips. Why on earth call it bruschetta when it was a freaking dip? I then dropped my plate and announced that to the bar. We then ordered the octopus salad. I loved it. I love it when the suction cups are all fried and crispy. It was yummy. It was a good meal, but I am sure I would have enjoyed it more sober.
Some lessons learned tonight:
2) Follow the directions. For the record, I never logged on and picked anyone because I couldn't remember any names. No one impressed me, so I guess it was for the best.
3) No nice restaurants when drunk - greasy pizza will do.
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