"But I am not gay"

I received the most amazing email from my beloved Aunt Donna today. Here is her note to me:

Hi there,
Just want you to know, I love you no matter what. I saw your life partner today and I am so proud of you. I guess we all have a way of expressing ourselves and sometimes our past has a way to inspire others...I hope I have inspired you to acknowledge things we can not change. I love you like my own daughter and if I had a daughter I would love her to be just like you; confident and assured in herself. You are such a blessing in my life and others around you...don't ever change the way you are.
Hugs and kisses to my niece; Denise.

I, of course, love my aunt dearly and was rather confused by the note. Life partner? What is she talking about? Who did she see and where? Did she run into someone at Kroger? I responded:

Hey Aunt Donna -
You saw my "life partner" the other day? Who is that? Not sure what you mean...
Hope things are going well with you. I am leaving tomorrow for Costa Rica! I am so excited. I can't wait. Bring on the sunshine and beach! I love you!

To which she responded:
Oh, I thought you were saying you had a girlfriend...haha....Aunt Donna totally misunderstood as your child is listed as Scarlet:-)  Me and my crazy thoughts.
You have a wonderful time my dear....be safe and enjoy your much deserved travels.

So, yes, my aunt definitely thought I was gay. For the record, I am not. I am still holding on to my "straight" card. 

However, I love her note. I love it for many reasons:  <stepping up on soap box>
1) She realizes that homosexuality is not a choice, "I hope I have inspired you to acknowledge things we can not change." People do not choose to be gay. I actually went on a date with a guy who told me that my gay friends chose that path and that they would eventually grow of this phase. Needless to say, there was not a second date. I have a hard time understanding how someone could believe that we are in control of our sexuality. Sexuality is not a choice. Lady Gaga said it best, "baby, you are born that way".  The nature vs. nurture debate makes my head spin. It's nature. End of debate.

My favorite YouTube video is a guy who asks people this very question, "Is homosexuality a choice?" Shockingly, most people responded yes, to which he combated, "When did you choose to be straight?" 

Someone does not actively made a conscience decision to be straight. Same goes for the other side of the coin.

2) I also love her note because she is so accepting. I love that she loves me regardless of who I love. It breaks my hears to hear from my good friends where their parents, family and friends do not accept them because they are gay. In fact, some stories have brought me to tears. I don't understand this ignorance. How you could not love your child, sibling, niece, nephew, cousin, friend, etc. because of something out of their control? And besides, how does other's sexuality really impact your life? Who are you to judge who people love?

It wasn't too long ago that women couldn't vote. It wasn't that long ago that black people had to drink out of a different water fountain and had to attend a different school. Can you imagine a world like that today? I can't. 

Can you imagine not having equal rights because of something that you have no control over: your gender, skin color or sexuality? Can you imagine not being able to marry the one you love? There are millions (that's right, millions) of people who are unable to marry their love, their soul mate.  I can't wait for 20 years down the road when we are all sitting around, asking ourselves, "do you remember that time when gay people couldn't get married? I can't imagine a world like that today."

I believe that every person has the right to marry the one they love.


If you support gay marriage, please take the time to sign the Human Rights Campaign petition:

http://www.millionsformarriage.org/

<stepping down from soap box>

And Aunt Donna - I love you!

I heart New York

This sums up beautifully my feelings for New York. When I lived in Chicago, I always had this expectation that I would eventually move home, back to Ohio, at some point. Chicago never felt like home.

I felt that way, too, once I first moved to New York - I would live here for a little bit and then eventually move home. Ohio was always 'home' to me. Now, coming up on my 2nd anniversary with New York, I can't imagine living anywhere else. I can't imagine living in Ohio anymore. New York feels like home to me because New York has become my home now.

Sorry Ohio, you have been replaced. Don't worry, I will always love you.

Bad News Bears

Not my shingles..but this is what they look like. 

This past summer, I contracted shingles. Sexy, right?

At this time, I was seeing/hooking up with a guy who I will refer to as BNB (bad news bears - not because he was bad news bears...but, well, you will see). On a random Monday, I woke up with a patch of "dry skin" on my hip. I thought it was a bit strange that I would get this patch of dry skin in the middle of summer, but I didn't think too much of it. I assumed my skin was angry at my new lotion but only this patch was angry - the rest of my legs were a-ok.  The next night, I stayed over at BNB's. I woke up Wednesday with shooting pains running down my leg. My "dry patch" of skin looked real aggressive. There was a significant amount of blisters. I immediately jumped in a cab and headed home. I knew that I needed to seek some medical attention stat for this situation. I do not have a primary care doctor in New York, so I always go to the Duane Reade clinic, like a real winner. I have great insurance, so I always feel a little out of place hanging out with the degenerates at Duane Reade.

My doctor's office

When I went to DR (coincidence this is short for both Duane Reade and doctor?), I told the "doctor" that I thought I had shingles. I had them as a kid, all over my face. It was real cute. I remember waking up when I was 5 with "pimples" down the right side of my face. They were also in my mouth and on my ear. I woke my mom and told her that I needed some pimple cream. She took one look at me and started to cry. That's not exactly reassuring for a 5 year old. I remember my face felt like it was on fire. These pimples were intense. She took me to my pediatrician and he sent us to Children's Hospital. I don't know why, but I loved going to the hospital when I was little. I was excited beyond belief. I also remember that no one would tell me "no" that day. Popsicle? Yes. More popsicles? Yes. Ice cream? Yes. More ice cream? Whatever you want. I ate my face off in popsicles and ice cream. I couldn't shovel them down my throat fast enough. I had to milk this opportunity. When my dad got there, he walked in the room and walked out immediately. Years later, he told me that he actually cried when he saw me because I was so hideous. Thanks dad.

So, this "doctor" at DR, who I am sure graduated at the top of her class, told me I had herpes. I started to cry. I have never had an STD. I thought it was a little bizarre that you could get an STD on your hip. I always just assumed that they would happen around the who-ha region. I asked her how this was possible and she started to chuckle. She informed me that shingles is a form of herpes and that I did not have an STD. Fuck you doc. When I ask you if I have shingles and you respond with "you have herpes", well - you can see how that can confuse someone. I don't need a technical debrief here. A simple "yes, you have shingles" would have suited me just fine.

I had just got back from Peru and she said it could be caused from stress, changes in altitude and climate, etc. I also have 'the shing' string due to my face incident and she says it lays dormant and can flair up at times for different rhymes and reason. Once we sorted out through the STD confusion, she told me that I was contagious only if someone touches it. She told me that if someone had been in contact with the area that I had to tell them. Just great. Just f-ing great. I did not want to do this. I did not want to tell BNB this news. Shingles isn't exactly sexy. After much debate, I decided to do the right thing and send an email. Here is my email, verbatim. I really do have a special way with words.

Subject: Bad News Bears
Yesterday, I woke up with some sort of small rash on my thigh. I just thought it was an allergic reaction to something, but when I woke up this morning, it had gotten way worse. I just got back from the doctor and she confirmed it is shingles (awesome, right?). Apparently, it's caused by stress which is odd because I really don't have a care in the world. Anywho, it is contagious (and utterly painful).  She actually gave me extra meds, so if by chance you get it - I will give them to you. She also said to wash any sheets. I don't think I am going to the Hamptons tonight, so you are welcome to use our washer & dryer (it's in unit). I am sorry - I really hope you don't get it.

From my Seattle friends - thanks Leigh and Andrew

There is no "hi, how are you?" "how is your day going." I dived head first into the shallow end. At the time, I didn't realize the awkwardness of my note. I did end up going to the Hamptons that night and I read my crafty note aloud to my friend, D-Ro. She laughed until she had tears in her eyes. It was then that I realized, wow - this is a really an f-ing awkward email. The note became the joke of the weekend. If you say "anywho" to any of my New York friends, they immediately start laughing. When they see signs for shingles vaccinations, they send them to me. 


On a side note, BNB's response couldn't have been any nicer if he tried. He said he was sorry for the pain I was in and not to worry about him, he has had them before, etc. He really handled it like a champ. 

The dash ain't silent

This week, I am not sure what Sara and I were talking about but she mentioned one of my favorite stories that I nearly forgot about. How I could almost forget this little gem is beyond me. This unfortunately didn't happen to me but nonetheless, it's still a treat.

A girl on my volleyball team in Chicago was a teacher in the Chicago Public school system. As you can imagine, she is not short on amazing stories. Apparently, this is some kind of urban legend, but hand to God, it happened to her. If I were a Kardashian, I would say bible. 

A new girl started at her school. Her name was La-A. That's right, La-A. Of course, everyone had the same question - how the hell do you pronounce that? "La-ah? Lay-ah? Apparently, all the teachers struggled with it all day. This poor child went home and told her very classy and educated mother that no one knew how to properly say her name. This intelligent mother went to the school the following day, completely distraught over the fact that no one could pronounce her daughter's name. She explained, "I don't know what's so hard about her name. The dash ain't silent. It's Ladasha." Poor kid. She is just screwed from the get-go (not get dash go). 

Since when do we pronounce punctuation comma question mark

Things that don't need to be pronounced aloud.