Match Maker, Match Maker, Make me a Match...

Guaranteed?  riiight.

After a few months, I have rejoined my nemesis: Match.com. Now, I have tried this in the past without any success. In fact, I have met some super weirdos. There was the excessive sweater, who would wipe his paper napkin on this forehead and leave tissue particles. Then, there was the guy that was out of touch with reality and informed me that my friends "chose to be gay and that it's a fad that they would grow out of eventually". This is also the same asshole that almost got us kicked out of comedy club because he was throwing napkins at the waitress. He was a real keeper. I threw in the towel after that one.

When I first moved here, I decided to give it another go as a way to meet some people. Enter, Cyclopes. Yes...I am probably being a little judgmental, but this dude was a jerk. He talked about all this money he had, his parents owned a minor league team, started his own business at 24 and is just "wildly" successful right now - and then wanted to go dutch when the bill came. Not cool. I think he was upset that I wasn't the pedigree he was looking for. We hugged, parted ways and never spoke again. Then, last month I noticed I got charged again from my frienemies at Match. So, since I am paying for the next 3 months - I am going to try to get my money's worth and go on a few dates.

This site never ceases to amaze me - I got the most bizarre email today. It's so good, that I have to share.

"Hey, I saw your profile and wanted to say a quick hi. I loved your profile. I am sure you would not be interested in someone like me (for reasons that are obvious when you read my profile..I am very different from most men) but I still wanted to say hello."

I was intrigued at what he was referring to as "obvious reasons" so I had to check it out. Here is what I found:

"I am tried of living my life in hiding, pretending not to be unusual, different, unique or even a freak. I have tried to adapt to our society that classifies people as either male or female, knowing that I am neither yet fully both. If you are confused, you may stop reading as I would not interest you. Per contra, if you are curious, then you may want to contact me. I am half man and also half woman. If this does not make sense to you, try walking in my shoes." It goes on but I am too bored to type up the rest.

Needless to say, I will be not be contacting him. Or is it her?